Would you date/marry a guy younger than you? If no, why not?

I am married now, so dating is out of the question anyway but what I do have is experience in dating.

Disclaimer: Not all men, but far too many.

I have seldom been wrong in my judgement of people, though there are times I've overridden my judgment and come to the same conclusion that I had obtained before I went the hard way.

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Compared to all that, older men have been a breeze. They are more graceful. They are more settled. They know how to treat a lady. They aren't so dependent and childish.

I haven't faced this because I'm extremely selective about men, but I've seen a friend doing it, and one friend facing it.

He cared too much about the opinions of his friends and peers. I mean he couldn't even tell them he was dating me because they'd tease him. Too childish that. I'm a no nonsense person.

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I've also made it a point to reprimand my own friends, who, I'm ashamed to admit, did not see the fault in their behaviour. It has gotten through to some of them, but some still are incorrigible.

But the age difference became very palpable soon:

Firstly let's rule out the obvious point of money

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn’t transparent about his past, it hurts me and he doesn’t care. I told him in the beginning of our relationship that it was a deal breaker for me what do I do?

Given this background, I'll tell you why I'll not date younger men.

The disgusting part is, these men will call a woman aunty (who is technically your mother's or father's sister) and yet proceed to sexualize and lust after her. Talk about closeted incestuous feelings.

God forbid if a woman is in her 30s and heavyset. She automatically becomes a “koluttha aunty”(plump aunty).

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As is well established, on an average, younger men earn lesser than older men.

Let's put two and two together.

Women are generally smarter than men of the same age but an older man is at least wiser and calmer than younger men to make up for the gap. That's why, I'd any day take an older man than a younger one.

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I had already had more life experience than him by that time. I'd experienced years of a career, marriage, childbirth divorce. He had finished college, stayed home for a year and just started a career and had never had a proper serious relationship in life. He had a hard time following my thought process because life experience changes you.

What hasn't been reported as widely is the jealousy men feel towards wives who earn more, men who become resentful and even actively sabotage their lives out of their unresolved feelings.

Somehow, men seem to lag on emotional and mental scales compared to women.

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I've had to chase/block/ignore so many guys like this who came lusting after me from my Insta handles and other fora. Without fail, all of them were younger men.

But I sense that somehow, I might be even more wiser and experienced in my 50s that I'd probably no longer prefer that age group even.

He didn't know what he wanted from life even. Wasn't sure about his career. Wasn't sure what else he'd do if not this. I was not at a stage in life where I could wait around to see.

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I have dated my fair share of men, and also screened a lot of potential dates. In fact, I would screen a huge number of guys before I zeroed in on whom to meet, then from there, whom to date and then, whom to get into a relationship with.

No.

I wasn't aware of his age and would have refused had i known he was two years younger than me, but I only got to know much later.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

A working woman risks having a resentful and uncooperative partner if she settles for a younger man who earns lesser/is less professionally established than her.

Once you get the hang of quickly assessing people, you can save your time and energy. I considered every date an investment for a potential partner.

I'm 34 and my husband is slightly more than a decade older than me and he's been a perfect fit for me. I think there is a sweet spot and this was it. Or he's my sweet spot. I don't know. But experience tells me that age has a lot to do with how fine he is, like good wine.

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Despite these odds, I still dated a younger guy once.

Men will also utilize older women for their sexual interests, aka, “aunty veriyan”(loosely translated as one who lusts after an aunty). They will often lie to that woman so that she thinks it's something meaningful and continues to give him sex while he's clear that she's just for his lust.

Having said all this, my own brother is in a successful relationship with an older woman and she's not the first woman he dated who was older than he. So, I think, it also has a lot to do with personality.

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While there are all kinds of people in this world, it is fact that men with higher earning wives aren't exactly the happiest lot.

There will be en number of men in this forum and others that will claim that women prefer older men because of the higher income.

To these men an older woman is not a human being but a sex object, thanks but no thanks to the porn industry that has a whole different category of MILF.

He was a good and decent guy with none of the above toxic traits. He was respectful, caring and responsible.

He was still living with his parents while I had been independent for years now. It'd have been ok, except that like almost all grown children (especially men) still living with their parents, he was way too dependent. On one instance, he said that his mother made his bed everyday. It was an instant shocker for me.

Even those men who might have a genuine connect with an older woman will be teased by their male friends with this moniker of “aunty veriyan”.

Now this guy was 28 and maybe, I'd have had a better experience if I were 50 and had dated a man in his mid 30s to 40s. Age does improve many people.

He was not at a stage in life where he wanted to commit while I was only interested in a serious relationship with potential for marriage. In fact he didn't know what he wanted.

Secondly, many if not most men, especially Indian men, just are not ready for the mental attitude required to date a woman older than themselves. They term older women as aunties.

Women who have been married or have had kids are by default termed as “aunties” even if they're the same age or even much younger than those men.

I have many men in my circles. I have seen almost every single one of them shamelessly call a woman “aunty” even if they're themselves in their 30s to 40s and the lady is at max 5 years older than them or less.

All of my points are based on my own personal observations and what had the most statistical probability. Every group will have exceptions so please do not consider my answer to paint all (younger) men in the same light.